Expectations and Teens

It feels good to be back again. With such a long long break full of unexpected twists and turns I just had a fantastic question from one of my old friends. 

'Do keeping expectations with someone kill us?'

And I paused for a few seconds before answering the same. Anyhow I do try my best to provide the best answer possible in that situation but this is a common question among teenagers these days. They EXPECT. They expect their exes to come back, their marks to improve, their reels to get viral, their so-called fantasies to turn into reality and whatnot. They EXPECT and EXPECT and EXPECT and hurt themselves later on to reality. Rest we all know a historically famous line, Yaar expectation hurts. And become the 21st-century wala DEVDAS. Okay, jokes apart so I believed to give my thoughts a try to write on expectations. Here it goes...

Let's break down this question to answer it properly.

To begin with, What is an EXPECTATION?

Um...expectation is anticipating what is likely to happen in future or to be very precise it is something we believe will likely happen in the near future or given situations.

To put this very simply, expectations are one's point of view toward a future situation that they have assembled. I especially said future situations that they have assembled because when we expect we create multiple scenarios of a particular situation in mind and the expectation is 'if this will happen things should go this way and if that will happen things should go that way.' that is what expectation means as of I know it for now.

With this, we have understood what is the meaning of expectation. Let us move further with the subject matter.

Next, What factors affect expectations?

Expectation can be shaped by various factors, which usually includes personal goals, societal standard, past experience, communication and also cultural influences. Factors can be explicit or implicit, that is, they can be clearly stated or understood without directly being expressed.

It is important to note that expectations differ from person to person and these are just a few of the factors that I am aware of until now. Do let me know in the comment below if you have any other aspect that you think shapes your expectation. 

At this moment, we are clear with two things that have a major role to answer our initial question. Now let us make it easier to understand that what is the relationship between our expectations and our reaction towards the reality which will indirectly answer our third and most important question which is do EXPECTATIONS kill us?

Anticipation or expectation (synonyms) is just our assumption towards future situations that means it might happen or might not happen, which is reality, and reality is not what we expect. Simply, expectations differ from reality and so will our reaction toward reality. It will also differ when things don't go our way we react and of course not always a positive reaction but a negative one mostly.

So, Do expectations kill us? 

With whatever was said above I presume YES, expectations kill us because most of the time our reaction toward reality is bitter. That bitterness in the reaction creates unexpected actions.

Until now we are focusing on reactions to situations but what about the expectation from people and the reaction toward the same. I guess this is a major problem for our teenagers these days. I should answer it as well.

When we expect from a situation we invest ourselves mentally. But when we expect from our loved one (People) we invest ourselves mentally as well as physically and most importantly emotionally and this emotional investment in people is what kills (destroy) us because we are not taught from a younger age how much to invest emotionally and how to handle the pain caused by the same.

With all things said very clearly it is finally time to answer our initial or foremost question that was:

Do keeping expectations with someone kill us? 

Yes, it kills us or more specifically destroys our emotional and mental and physical ability to react toward anything for a short period of time and stops us to think of a more clear way to solve such issues.

Now when we know that expectation from someone kills us or more precisely destroys us for a shorter period with long-term effect, another question arises i.e., Is it good to expect?

Yes, of course, expectation is important but so is knowing what limit to expect. Expect but to a certain limit. Else expect limitlessly and be ready to face the consequences so cause by the same.

Now that I have told you the problem in so much elaborated way, just know what to expect and to what limit?

Expectations mostly led to conflict and misunderstanding so it's better to know about the situation briefly and communicate with the person properly to of what you have expected about someone in particular.

Also, do good but do not expect good in return because when you do good while expecting it's a trade not help.

( as I have seen personally the concept of expectation applies mostly in these cases only.)

I have tried my best to put everything I could about EXPECTATIONS and all related terms. Do let me know if there is anything about the topic that I have forgotten to mention I would be grateful if you do the same. 

Signing of

-Yukti